restless, but resting

Sometimes, like tonight, I feel so utterly restless. Wanting to be in a hundred different places at once. Thinking of 'there', but am here. Trying to sleep, but kept awake by a desperately needy world. On my pillow, thinking of those without one. In my house, thinking of those in huts. Me, with a full belly, them and their growling ones. But what is most haunting is their lost and lonely cries, for many do not know their Heavenly Father.

And sometimes, I am so disturbed, disgusted, and devastated with it all, that I forget the sovereignty of God, which tells me... that God has placed me here, now on purpose, which is His purpose. And other times, I am so burdened for other places and people that I lose sight of this place and people around me. And other times, I am caught dreaming of the future, that I let the present slip right by.

So, I have to recall, over and over again, that His sovereignty gives purpose to the 'here' and to the 'now'. And I reckon I'll be learning this again, and again, and again, till I'm home.